Comment

Comment by Patricia M. McBride on June 6, 2012 at 10:07pm

Certainly, I wouldn't want anyone to commit suicide, but I also don't think forcing other people to do anything that goes against their beliefs is wrong too.  You have written some compelling reasons for why you did what you did, but I also must think about what other people do for compelling reasons also.  I don't think when I said you chose to make this transition that many are not going to be comfortable with.  So there you are, and no matter what happens it will not be fair to a group of people.  At any rate, please understand it isn't because I don't want to, but this week has been quite busy, and I am up over 1,000 Emails just now, so I need to get some focus the next few days and clear some things and list some things and get some housekeeping done, so I probably won't be in the discussions on here for a few days.  That is not to say I won't be posting as I have several items I will post; I just won't be blogging.  Good night!

Comment by Maxine Jessica Roberts on June 6, 2012 at 5:58pm

Patricia, I didn't choose to have the internal identification I have. I didn't choose to feel alien in my own body. I didn't choose to prefer things that are sometimes deemed ultra feminine over ultra masculine. I didn't choose to absolutely hate ultra masculine stuff. I didn't choose to be happy when people call me "Ma'am" and have a very sick feeling in my gut when people say sir. 

Those are all issues with my Gender Identity. Things I didn't choose. 


What I did choose? 

I made a choice one year ago between Bullets or Pills. Between Suicide and Transition.
I chose Transition. 

I Chose to get my facial hair permanently removed. 

I Chose to start wearing bras because my chest was too uncomfortable not too. 

I chose to start wearing shirts that fit me because I lost weight. Instead of not wearing clothes from when I was heavier to hide the fact that my body shape had changed. 

I Chose to see a doctor about having surgery.

I chose to present as female. 

That is my Gender Expression. 

Yes I had a choice in my Presentation and Expression. i didn't have a choice in my Identity. And if I had maintained a Male Expression with a Female Identity, I would have killed myself.

So in the end. When I see the choice of "Death" or "Happiness" I don't see it as a real Choice. The Choice was superficial, because in reality it was the only one I had. 

As far as what church I belong too, I do not. I am spiritual, I do not belong to an organized religion. But those items I listed off. Are actually all from the Bible. 

Jesus told his disciples to seek out the man carrying water in the street, he would have a room for them to use. Men at the time, did not carry water. Their wives, daughters, sisters, did this job. Jesus told his disciples to seek out a man who did not conform to the social gender norms. He was gender non-conforming. 

Eunuchs were mentioned in the bible multiple times in multiple stories. During biblical and roman times these men were controlled under Roman Laws. 

This included Castrated Eunuchs (Eunuchs who were castrated because they prefer not to deal with the social requirements of rearing children.)

Natural Eunuchs (Eunuchs who had chose to not have sex with women. They would be considered Homosexuals today, As they would sometimes have relationships with Men. Under Roman Laws they were higher in social order then Castrated Eunuchs.) 

And Effeminate Eunuchs ( Josephus indicated that in the case of some, since "it is evident that their soul has become effeminate, they have transfused that effeminacy to their body also." THE FEMININE ASPECT OF THE PERSON IS WITHIN THEM AND REFLECTED IN THEIR BODILY ACTIONS The Body is reflecting their inner spirit) 

Whoops. I mean that last one. "Their soul has become Effeminate."  that one, that one sure is special to me. 

Anyway, Eunuchs were very important in a few stories in the bible, including one where they disposed of Queen Jezebel by throwing her out a window. 

Also God said "Love thy Neighbor" 

 

The truth is Patricia, I am a Minority. I didn't Choose this life. I just chose to continue to live it. And I will continue to live it for the rest of my days. I didn't do this to "Fight the system." or "Rebel against God!" or to "Make christians uncomfortable." or to "Have rampant sexual encounters!" or to "Sexually confuse White Straight Christian Men." I don't want any of that. 

I want Respect. Like any person gets. 

If me being a woman inside was a choice, then I want to know why you chose it? Because If I could I'd have chosen to be male identified. The Automatic Privileges were nice while I had them. But they were not worth my Sanity. 

 

And if sexuality is a choice. When did you choose to be Heterosexual? Was it before or After Puberty? Did you weight the options or were you just "Born that way" If you were just naturally born that way, then you can't deny that a homosexual was born that way as well. 

 

 

Comment by Patricia M. McBride on June 6, 2012 at 3:38pm

Maxine, you are not a minority.  You chose to take the actions you took willingly and admit freely it was all about your COMFORT level, and I would say that the rest of the folks have a comfort level too!  This is something you chose to do and become by choice because you wanted to do it.  You also had to have known before hand it would not be well recieved by many people unless you are living in a total vacuum (and I gather you are not).  This is not totally about you and what you want or your rights (and no, you have the same first amendment rights the rest of us do including religion as long as you don't try to force your religion on everyone else).  And, curiousity certainly has me, because I have never heard of a church that preached what you claim.........truly, I haven't.  What is the name of the church you go to?  I tend not to be a church goer, but many folks do and we all have a right to our own belief system as long as it does not infringe on other people's religious rights.

Comment by Maxine Jessica Roberts on June 4, 2012 at 9:09pm

Every little bit helps. 
When kids see their parents making fun of minorities, it teaches them that it is ok to do that to. Hate isn't born it is taught. 

Comment by Michael Jackson on June 4, 2012 at 9:06pm

Maxine, I am an engineer by education and inclination, so I think that I see things much less emotionally. I recognize and trust that you have these experiences and more detailed knowledge of such horrible events. I do not tolerate such behavior. Yet, do you not have the ability to find a better place to live? Or would you also find the described violence in these places too? Will making 2012-296 a human rights ordinance magically change the intolerance, the violence? There are already tough laws against the awful behaviors, yet they occur. Much you desire does not just happen by decree.

Comment by Maxine Jessica Roberts on June 4, 2012 at 8:35pm

Also, "Freedom of Religion" is a two way street. You can't use your Religion as a way to impede on my first amendment rights. 

My religion says that Gender Non-conformity is a cherished act. That people who voluntarily remove themselves from the gene-pool through sterilization, or other acts are Heroes. That protecting your loved ones and neighbors is a sign of respect. 

You have no right to say your religion is better then mine. I have no right to say your religion is inferior to mine. 

The Freedom of Religion is also Freedom From Religious Persecution. The fact that you keep bringing religion into it makes me feel like you are impeding on my Religious Freedoms. So why don't you stop that huh?

Comment by Maxine Jessica Roberts on June 4, 2012 at 8:29pm

Patricia, do you wear pants? Congratulations you are Gender Non-Conforming. 

Comment by Patricia M. McBride on June 4, 2012 at 8:26pm

Maxine, gender non conforming members of society constitute 2.9% of our total population.  For those 2.9% we are supposed to totally change our culture and take freedom of speech and freedom of religion away from the other 97%.

Comment by Maxine Jessica Roberts on June 4, 2012 at 7:23pm

Patricia, 

I'm not revealing any major secrets about myself here. I'm not even getting into the stuff that even I find gross. 

But you need to understand that, the Gender Non-Conforming members of society are a Minority that is constantly harassed. I don't want to, but I'll gladly start listing off the Trans* people who were killed just for being Trans* in the last 6 months alone. 

The list is long, and the circumstances of their deaths are all overtly violent. Some including rape, mutilation, and lots of bullets. 

The truth is, every time I walk out my door, no matter how I'm dressed, no matter what kind of jewelry I'm wearing, no matter what kind of makeup, or other accessories I have on. 

No matter if I have easy access to a self defense weapon. If I feel brave enough to actually stand up for myself. 

No matter what, when I go outside in public here in Jacksonville. I do not feel safe. I'm surprised I managed to make it to the Courthouse today without crying from the Anxiety. 

We need any protection we can get, Because most other members of society don't even see us as human. 

Comment by Patricia M. McBride on June 3, 2012 at 9:31pm

Maxine, you know, I am not interested in learning about your issues. I am not only not interested, I would rather not get embroiled in this at all. I am straight, and there are some things I do not need to know or even want to know. This is your issue, your problem and I have no need to become an expert on your issues period. I already have enough on my plate without becoming an expert on gay, lesbian, transgender or whatever other forms there are out there. I will make a deal with you, I won't bother you with all the nuances of being straight and you won't force me to learn all about your issues and problems! I don't care to hear about how you dress or why you do what you do period. You are outside the norm, and so far, I have gotten along just fine and have many friends who are straight, and know a few folks that are gay that I like enormously that have not felt the need to run me through all the details of their lives (aside from just saying they are gay, had a partner or things that would come up as a normal course of conversation), and they don't feel compelled to explain what goes on in the privacy of their own homes. I prefer that you and I just not buddy up and share all this information about why you are the way you are or what makes you tick or trips your trigger. The few gay people I do know have jobs, homes, families, partners, friends, and a life. They do not run around trying to explain their way of life or tell me how I should live mine. I don't run around trying to tell them how to live or why I live the way I do.

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