Four years ago during a trip to Lowe’s, I once again found myself in the Land of New Appliances.  As I rounded the corner, a thrill went up my leg.  “Yes!” I said to myself in a loud voice in my head.  My two girls had finally gone on sale and I HAD to have them!  The Bosch washing machine and dryer stood tall and beautiful and they appeared to be smiling right at me.  As Randy walked towards me from his Land of New Tools, he immediately knew we were going to have a “conversation.”  He saw the dazzle in my eyes and the way I was lovingly touching the front loading doors.  In his common sense and so rude voice, he said “Our machine is fine.” 

I was not worried.  I had my arsenal of reasons for needing this new purchase.  I immediately went into the planned “sermon” that included talking points such as:

• Ours is 20 years old
• These are top loaders and YOUR MOTHER- who lives with us - will not have to work so hard to do the laundry
• Our old one will probably stop working soon, it’s on its last leg
• This is a big sale and we can’t pass it up

He still stood firm and thought it silly to spend so much for something we didn’t need.   I was prepared for his common sense approach and …

…immediately pulled the card I knew would secure the pair for a place in our home.  I reminded him…

“Remember the truck you HAD to have 15 years ago and I didn’t think we could afford it but I kept my mouth shut.  Remember that?”   

He looked at me and knew CHECKMATE had occurred and there was nothing for him to do. He said, “Whatever.  Do what you want.”  He lost and I won!  I patted the pair and said  “Yes, I can take you home with me beautiful ladies!”

I got my way and ended up with the coolest pair on the floor and they looked like something from the Jetson’s.  I must admit I felt bad about giving up a perfectly good machine.  But alas, no worries.  I made myself feel better by giving them away to someone who needed them and was thrilled to get my 20 year old worn out machines.  “One person’s junk is another person’s treasure”, I thought.  With my guilt now put aside, I tidied up the area for the new royal pair’s delivery. 

They were beautiful.  My girlfriends were jealous and I was gleeful of this huge new purchase.  They cost more than my first car – which doesn’t mean much.  My first car was a Vega and the guy we purchased it from almost paid Randy to take it off his hands! 

The Bosch girls did a great job and I could not wait to wash clothes and listen to the quietness that came from them.  I would keep checking to make sure they worked because they were so quiet.  I was in heaven.

Then one day a few months later, I found mildew in the seals of the washing machine.  How had that happened?  I scrubbed and tried to clean her up but the stain was difficult and wouldn’t budge.  I went to the internet to see if there was a remedy and there it was – the truth!  I was devastated. 

Posting after posting of comments about the Bosch girls and how you needed to “feed” them to keep them from growing mildew.  Feed them?  You had to buy a product – which wasn’t cheap – and feed it through the washing machine at least once a month.  It would keep the clothes smelling fresh and the mildew down.

I began to wonder why I had made this expensive change but I would never let Randy know I had my doubts.  Women just don’t admit we are wrong in times such as these.

In fact, it is not often we admit we are wrong, period.

I tried the product and it worked for a few days and then the mildew was back and it became an ongoing saga to fight the mildew in my beautiful BOSCH girl’s seals.  Ugh.  Yuck.  Disgusting. 

I eventually went back to the internet to see if someone had discovered the perfect remedy for this gross stuff.  Yes, there it was.  All you had to do was “leave the door open after washing.”  What????  Leave the door open?  My beautiful BOSCH girl would have to sit with her mouth open so the mildew would not grow inside her.  The picture of those beautiful BOSCH girls sitting side by side glistening for all to see was blown.  One with her mouth open and the other with it closed was not a pretty sight.  I kept the doors to our laundry room closed so no one would see our "problems."  

So for the last four years the Bosch girls and I have fought the mildew and paid a good $60 a year in product to keep it smelling nice.  I have grown weary of them and many times wished I had my old pair back (which are still running and doing great in their adoptive home).

Two weeks ago, the unthinkable happened.  I filled the machine with towels and turned her on.  I left the laundry area and an hour later came back to find she had not moved.  The towels were wet but nothing turned and the door would not open.  My towels were held hostage!

Long story short – After replacing the electronics, the pump and the big motor, one of the Bosch girls has died.  It was not a pretty death and I was not a happy owner.  She only gave me four years and I had done all I could to keep her looking pretty and smelling nice.  I had never worked so hard for a washing machine before and only 4 years of work out of her was not enough! 

I was fortunate because we purchased an extended warranty.  We will be receiving a new machine BUT they do not have my color and the beautiful pair will now look like a rag tag mixture of machines and my dream of a beautiful change in my laundry room are ruined.  (I do believe Randy has a smug look on his face but I’m ignoring him – which we women are good at doing.)

As I Googled “Washing Machines” tonight to see what I might get this time around (Bosch is not on the list), the links that scrolled upwards included washing machine AND Washington.   I laughed at the irony.

Four years ago I thought I needed a change and the new great looking machines would save me time and my life would be better.  I also wouldn’t listen to the one who was trying to keep me from an “emotional buy.” 

Four years ago America thought we needed a change and the new great looking orator would save us from an economic crisis and make our lives better.  We would not listen to wise patriots who warned that the looks and words could be deceptive.   His words were hollow but so many did not care.  He was great looking and that is all that mattered!

Four years ago we all got duped.  The looks are gone and the new guy in Washington just couldn’t keep things going.  He passed legislation that would feed his ego just like I had to feed a washing machine to keep it from smelling. 

He wanted America to change and now we understand that the old ways still work – just like my old washing machine.  Our traditions might be old-fashioned and all those new ideas have kept our country stagnant.

I’ll be getting a new machine and this time I will do my homework.  I will not be emotional.  I will be a grown-up because reality is…this is just a stupid washing machine and it needs to perform!  Forget about looks, baby!

I’ll be getting a new President too and this time I hope Americans will do their homework.  I hope emotions will not play a part in their vote.  I hope they will be grown-ups because reality is…this is one of the most important decisions you may make in your lifetime.  Our next President needs to perform and get our country back to work.   My washing machine is dead and will be hauled out of here in a few days.  My country is still very much alive and waiting for the next leader to show up and take good care of her.

Take your vacation, Mr. Obama and the rest of the Washington gang.  When you get back to DC, you have some work to do…cause the economy stinks, much like my now dead washing machine does.

Enjoy the two videos and may you find peace in the Land of New Appliances and New Tools should you find yourself at Lowe’s this weekend. 

Washing Machine on Holiday 

 Obama on Vacation